You know how I won?
I got out of it as the same person that I’ve always been
I freed myself from a toxic situation
with a clear mindset and my morals in place.
I got out of it and I didn’t automatically project myself onto another person
and pursue another relationship.
is it really a relationship
if you feel the need to post all over social media how that other person had been a perfect replacement,
and document every minute you spend together?
Is it really a relationship
if you’re using it for revenge?
I didn’t feel the need
to mess with your feelings and head
But you did.
You know you fucked up
and you know you’re living a lie.
You know you’re still searching for pieces of me in her
posting all about how much “better” you are
so you can convince yourself of such.
You’re in denial.
You know what you lost,
and how you can’t get it back.
Maybe she’s got a flawless complexion and a skinnier body
but you know you loved my imperfections.
You know you saw beauty in my scars
you know you’re craving my thighs and the lips you used to trace with your fingers.
Maybe she’s nicer and things are “easier”
but you know you’re aching for my sarcasm
for the forbidden element of what we had.
One day you’ll look back and remember how your profile was filled with pictures of a girl you were so convinced could replace me
It’s all a show
and honestly who are you trying to fool?
Convincing yourself that it’s genuine,
needing approval from your friends and people hiding behind screens.
Trying to hurt me
doesn’t make you any stronger
or make it any more real.
You’ll remember how
a smile you used to inflict upon me,
the smile you tried to take away from me,
was still there.
That’s when you know you lost,
because I came back from it
with the same goddamn smile
you tried to take away.