Winning the breakup

You know how I won?

I got out of it as the same person that I’ve always been

yet stronger.

I freed myself from a toxic situation

with a clear mindset and my morals in place.

I got out of it and I didn’t automatically project myself onto another person

and pursue another relationship.

“Relationship”

Ask yourself,

is it really a relationship

if you feel the need to post all over social media how that other person had been a perfect replacement,

and document every minute you spend together?

Is it really a relationship

if you’re using it for revenge?

I didn’t feel the need

to mess with your feelings and head

But you did.

Why?

You know you fucked up

and you know you’re living a lie.

You know you’re still searching for pieces of me in her

posting all about how much “better” you are

so you can convince yourself of such.

You’re in denial.

You know what you lost,

and how you can’t get it back.

Maybe she’s got a flawless complexion and a skinnier body

but you know you loved my imperfections.

You know you saw beauty in my scars

you know you’re craving my thighs and the lips you used to trace with your fingers.

Maybe she’s nicer and things are “easier”

but you know you’re aching for my sarcasm

for the forbidden element of what we had.

One day you’ll look back and remember how your profile was filled with pictures of a girl you were so convinced could replace me

but didn’t.

It’s all a show

and honestly who are you trying to fool?

Convincing yourself that it’s genuine,

needing approval from your friends and people hiding behind screens.

Trying to hurt me

doesn’t make you any stronger

or make it any more real.

You’ll remember how

a smile you used to inflict upon me,

the smile you tried to take away from me,

was still there.

That’s when you know you lost,

because I came back from it

with the same goddamn smile

you tried to take away.